Fallow Times

I woke up this morning, too early if you ask me, but the birds were singing a whole symphony outside my window making sleep no longer an option. Rather than waste a lot of time on Facebook, which is the sort of meaningless thing I do when I don't want to get out of bed I chose to make my laziness more productive and actually look for and read things of interest. This morning I found two posts on the same topic, one that I haven't really heard much discussion about.

Satsekhem's Post on Fallow Times

Dver's Post on Fallow Times

I have noticed that often times there's not a lot of serious and honest talk about the dark parts and rough patches that all spiritual paths hit (or maybe I am looking in the wrong places). I know I've hit a lot of this mostly dealing with 1 and then exacerbated by 3 on Satsekhem's list:

1. Simply put, it’s the mundane overpowering the spiritual.
2. The gods are busy.
3. We want it so badly, we block ourselves.
4. It’s a test.
5. There’s a problem.

Though for me I lump 1 and 3 together and call it college. Now I find myself actually coming out of a fallow period brought about by working two jobs and doing a ton of running around on top of it. I find this the most dangerous time, for me at least, when the shoots are young and a single frost could ruin everything, albeit a frost of my own making.

I think right now I'm being tested, though I'll get into details once I pass through to the other side of it. Though this test isn't a true fallow period, it could become one, I am looking for advice and all I get is a sort of feeling akin to a gentle knowing smile and "I know you'll figure it out soon" attitude from the Lady in question. The thing is I seem to be looking in all the wrong places, but as I ponder through it now I get an image of a labyrinth, the walking kind. That might be a good idea....to find one and walk it. The Lady does like labyrinths. 

I knew one day this might come in handy.

So there are 6 in my area, three in churches, one is portable and borrowable by donation, one is a outdoor memorial at a Chatham University just down the road from Pitt, where I attended school, now near work, and another is by the Mon in Homestead, and looks gorgeous. Now it's simply a matter of finding time to go and walk one or the other to see what happens.

Well that's as much as I have for now, time to cuddle up and catch up on a tv show before I do more productive things (hopefully).

Blessings,

Satiah


 

Vernal Equinox 2012

And yet again another holiday catches me more or less off guard. I've been living a nomads life most of this month, spending more time at Wolfe's apartment, some overnight shifts at work, and a night or two in my own bed. Actually I think I've only spent one night in my own bed this month so far. All this running around between two jobs, which between the two add up to over 40 hours per week, packing, unpacking, and repacking has really made the days just blur together. I've never been very good with holiday calenders of any shape or variety, days get away from me, and some weeks feel like months and sometimes only like a day or two. This is why I like to write things down, (especially my work schedule) and I do have a festival calendar written down but it's on Groove at home, which was a silly place to put it as I never really look at Groove even when I have plenty of time at home.

It was 80 degrees today not really very spring like but our winter was blessedly mild, or nonexistent if you compare it to what parts of Europe got hit with. Today I had hoped, and still do, to spend some time to honor Tellus Mater and Sol Indiges, when I get out of my second shift of the day, in the presence of their physical manifestations. Nothing compares to the feeling of cool grass or earth beneath my feet and the warmth of the sun on my skin when it comes to honoring and celebrating the wonders of the two pillars of the natural world. The moon and the night are equally magical and wondrous but without the bounty of the earth and the sun who makes life and growth possible we would not be here.

Hail Most Eminent Mother

Maker of Mountains

Embracer of Oceans

Foundation of All Life

Hail Most Eminent Father

Giver of Day

Bringer of Growth

Ancestor of All Mankind

Today we celebrate

The Gift of Springtime

The Wonder of Rebirth

And give thanks to you

The Ancient Ones

Who in your turnings

Make it possible

Blessings,

Satiah

Making a Portable Altar

 I spend a decent chunk of my week with my boyfriend of many years at his place. Now when I'm away from home I still like to keep up with small devotionals so I don't feel like my spiritual and religious life stops the minute I walk out the door. I have a little pouch in my purse where I carry a small string of prayer beads and two stones I am particularly fond of. (One is a piece of moonstone that is a natural worry stone, the way it feels between my fingers and slowly warms as I hold it is very soothing.) Now when I would say prayers at my boyfriend's (let's call him Wolfe) I always felt a little uncomfortable, sort of like I was intruding. He has his own altars and his own ways and I fully embrace and respect that. I asked Wolfe a few weeks ago if I could set up a small altar of my own so to speak on the little set of wire baskets that serve as my dresser for clothes and other small things I either keep there or bring with me. Today he said ok, I could set it up as long as it followed what I had promised and his own rules. So while putting it together I thought I would blog about the process.

This altar isn't one dedicated to any of my deities but one for mediation and contemplation, which also means it can be put away when I'm not there. Logically then it needs to fit in a singular container.

Challenge #1 - Find a Container.

For what ever reason I like boxes, and containers, and I have a decent variety laying around. The trickiest part is finding one about the right size that isn't already full of stuff. Little wooden cigar box was my first thought but it's full of skeins of embroidery floss. But then I remembered the vintage French cookie tin they used to be in. I found it still in the closet and unused since my thread stash outgrew it. (Looks like this but mine doesn't have a hinge lid.) It's the prefect size.

Challenge 1 - Complete.

Challenge #2 - Keeping Stuff Safe

The only issue with this box is that it is made of tin, and while I'm still choosing all I want to put in it, I don't want stuff crashing around an making noise or worse yet breaking or getting damaged. Seems simple enough, a bit of fabric to wrap things up in and to double as an altar cloth when it's out. Now to dig through my drawer of scarves and bandannas. Thankfully that wasn't too hard, the scarf I was looking for was right on top, it's a small silk one that Wolfe bought me two or three years ago.

Challenge 2 - Complete

Challenge #3 - What to put in it.

I know for sure that I want a little Book of Shadows, a mini version that compiles some of my favorite prayers and meditations from my larger Book of Shadows and also culled from the various books in my library, and the Internet. I don't need rituals or anything, just those things that I sometimes find myself inspired to contemplate or recite when I'm over there. (It takes me a while to memorize and sometimes I feel more comfortable reading if I'm going to with something other than spontaneity.) I don't know if I have a tiny journal that will fit, if not  I can always make a scroll or something. Another element that I must add are stones, I like nature and when I started sticking my toes into the paganism pool I started with stones. I've always had a rock collection and I thought it would be discrete. I have a bag I'll have to dig through and see if I have any meditative faves to bring with. Now some of those like to roll around, so I have a little silver plate, (silver plate electroplated on steel to be correct) it fits in the box and it's not doing anything useful here so in it goes. The last piece is a visual element, I construct things visually, I work better with maps and calenders rather than just being asked what days I'm available or where to get to somewhere. I like images but images of deities isn't what the focus is here, I'll have to think on this. Well I'm going to go dig around and see what I can put together.

So I ended up sleeping on it and I ended up with a few of my favorite pieces, a Labdorite orb a large piece of Kyanite, and the most precious piece a Lapis Lazuli stone that originally sat on my primary altar for many years. (Thank you Anpu and Nebt-Het for letting me borrow it for this). The visual element hasn't been determined so this is a work in progress.

Challenge #3 - Complete

It's not quite complete but I want to work with it a few times before I start making revisions so to speak. This is primarily an exercise in space, place, and belonging. It's nice to have the familiar close at hand to help facilitate finding peace and tranquility in a place that isn't inherently ones own, the stuff is just a physical expression of that. A repository for the feelings and energies that I like to surround myself with during prayer and mediation.


Blessings,

Satiah

Little Artemis (A Poem)

It has been far too long since I have written. Work has kept me running from place to place, living in two different homes to better facilitate travel, working overnight shifts to complicate matters. And in what quiet points I have found, I've been separated from the Internet ( It's tragic I know...). It's also been tough to actually finish a post, there are so many things that I've started to write about but never finished. I think my draft posts are triple my actual completed posts. I mean this to be a simple explanation of my absense, rather than an excuse.

I wanted to share something today that I wrote probably back in 2009 or so. It has elements of prayer but it's also biographical. When I was small I spent a lot of time running around in the woods by my maternal grandmother's house out in the country. When I came to the University of Pittsburgh to study I often found myself missing those times so much, especially when confronted by the confines and polution of urban enviroments and the violence and ugliness people perpetuate upon each other for what ever manufactured reason. I really try when ever I can to get outside, to find somewhere close to those woods so I can for at least a little while be the little girl I was again, and find the clarity and confidence I had then. When I ran in those woods I feared nothing (not to say I wasn't aware of the risks and dangers, I was almost run over by an ATV once because I had slipped and fallen.) I felt more in my element, more in control, and now I feel like I know so much fear, that I exist out of my element, as isolated from my surroundings as Tellus Mater is from the rain when covered with concrete.

Little Artemis

Sweet Maiden of the Wood

Fleet sprit swift as the wind

Fragile as new spring growth

Yet strong as the oak that towers above you

Barefoot you tread the wilds without fear

Free as all creatures are, so are you

With your hounds you hunt

But no animal must flee in fear

You seek the beauties of the wild

The secrets only you have seen

Your youthful eyes hold great widsom in their depths

Not lessons taught by pain and strife

But Gaia's whispered softly

Watchful dreamer, vigilant and carefree

You know the risk of the wilds you tread

You know the dangers of weather and season

Your mother wails, fearful for you

Warning of danger by the hand of man

That one so small and young as you may risk

No fear have you, who dare to tread where others would not

You know these pathless woods as you know your face

A haven and comfort to those wise enough

You can smell the rain upon the wind

You know the call of dangerous beasts

Like a bird you know the way home by heart

Like a cat you can move unseen by the eyes of men

All of Gaia's wisdom at your fingertips

Keeps you safe from all harm

Yet, no matter how swift

No matter how vigilant

You cannot escape the passage of time

So swift it comes, draging you away

To a place foreign and strange

With mighty buildings in place of trees

Set paths to tread and travel by

Life muted by constructed forms

Oh that fear which at first consumed

The new dangers that bit and tore

How horrifying how tragic

No matter what you do not yeild

For men and women are no different than beasts

Except for their sometimes sensless savagry

Gaia still whispers through the stone that covers her

And now this artifical wilderness you come to master

Greatest is she who is at home in either place

To stride through civilization and wilderness with equal freedom

Holding the delicate balance in your hand

You ensure the survival of all

May all men admire you

May all women aspire to be you


Hope you liked it.

Blessings,

Satiah