A World So Full Of Terror

Tonight I don't really have much specifically of religious import on my mind. I am more concerned about the violence that has sprouted up where I now work and once went to school. I am speaking of the Oakland campus for the University of Pittsburgh. So far as I am aware I have never been in any direct danger from any of it and for that I give thanks. I also pray for those who are not so fortuante, the victims of the WPIC shootings in Febuary. I used to work there and I sat helplessly at work watching it all unfold through the internet, praying for no one to get hurt and more specifically for those who I had known even in passing who might still work there. Sadly that was not the case as there were two dead and seven injured. One among the dead was the shooter and I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand I am glad that the police acted with bravery and efficiency in preventing what could have been a total masacre. On the other I want to see him stand trial, to see justice done in a legal setting. Someone willing to throw their life away can do such unspeakable harm if they have no fear of reprisal since they'll be dead.

More recently there have been bomb threats, so many of them. Today alone five buildings have been targeted and needed to be evacuated. As far as I know no bombs have been found during any of the sweeps, but if these were just pranksters they would have been caught by now. There are rumors going around about more sinister fears, that maybe they are using the evacuations to comit theft. Or looking to flush out people in order to start shooting.  I pray every day that who ever is behind this is brought to justice and we can all get some peace and quiet. As quiet as Oakland ever gets.

I listen to the sirens of the police vehichles that drive past. It sends chills down my spine, and I wonder, 'what now?' I am here working, the lone staff member on shift, all night, it is my job to make sure that those who stay here feel safe, feel welcome, feel secure. For them I put on a brave face, and I wonder, 'what could I possibly do if the unthinkable which has been happening quite a lot lately happens here?'

I would be a fool and a liar to say I would act heroicly, that I would save the day and avert the danger. Having never started the imediate looming of death I can't even say that I would face it with dignity and serenity. The things that have been happening lately scare me more than getting stalked ever did. That was a private danger, which since so far as I knew I was the only target, it made it seem smaller, more managable, something that I perhaps could put an end to. Which I did with help, and now I look back and chuckle at my fear. It seems like a lame indie horror film to me now, and while I know why I was so scared then, I feel stronger having gone through it. But that was when the fear was about small dangers, small violences. These days violence looms large, casting a pall over many, and that's something I don't think I can conquer if it comes knocking at my door. If it reaches out to touch me, could I fend off it's grasping claws?

All I can really do is pray, that I will never have to learn the answers to those questions, how I would deal with such grave dangers should they ever come knocking at my door, and that when my time does come regardless of the means that I will face it with the serene dignity from one who knows:

'Life and Death are but two sides of the same coin. No matter which side I am on, the Gods will be there, to guide and teach, bastions of many blessings for both living and dead.'